by James Lewis
Right to Read Report, May/June 1998

In this unique satire, James Lewis, a college professor from Leslie, Michigan, presents his perspective on reading disability and the accompanying labels given students due to poor elementary school reading instruction. James became concerned and aware of these problems when he noticed the large number of his adult students who couldn’t read. He began a search for the causes and realized that early in their schooling these students had never been taught the essential skills.

Dear Grown Ups:

I am a child, and you brought me into this world. You have the responsibility to teach me, guide me and protect me. I am like a canvas, and you are the painter. You have created school systems to teach me, and although I do not know what a curriculum is because that is a big word, I think it has something to do with the way I am taught. You grown ups change the way you teach us children and then argue about what is best for us, all the while we are learning less each year.

You big people say you are smart because you went to something called a college and know lots of big words, but I am just a little person waiting for my turn to grow up. I am scared now because you said I am learning disabled and my future is not very bright. I don’t want to be disabled anymore, but you said I have something called Attention Deficit Disorder and I need medication for it. I don’t know what all that means, but I am tired of being called names. I don’t want to be called Learning Disabled, ADD, Special Ed or any other name.So, to play fair, I think it is time for you to see things from my point of view, way down here in kindergarten, 1st and 2nd grade. After all, from my position, your problems look much bigger than mine.

I think you big people have several disorders. You have a condition known as KDD, Knowledge Deficit Disorder, because you keep telling us that we cannot learn, even though it is you who are teaching us. We are the fruits of your society and we are molded by your environment. My classmates and I have concluded that you also have CDD, Curriculum Deficit Disorder, because we are learning exactly what and how you tell us to, and still it is not good enough for you.

Lots of you grown ups suffer from SDD, and it is extremely contagious. Social Dyslexic Disorder causes big people to do and see things backwards. You teach us with concepts of comprehension at levels even you have trouble understanding. You substitute phonics instruction with word cues, picture cues, and other fancy terms and then blame us for not being able to read. At first I thought this was a fun game, like a children’s lottery, where those who get it win. But, after watching so many of my friends struggle and fail and feel bad about themselves, I think educational roulette is a much better name. SDD often leads to HDD, Honesty Deficit Disorder, which results from having your psychologists and scientific researchers tell you the real reasons we are having difficulty learning. Then you tell them to shut up because they are wrong, while you make up some new words to try the same thing again.

Many grown ups also suffer from a previously rare affliction called PDD, which recently has hit epidemic proportions. Political Deficit Disorder is a disease that infects adults all across our great big country and is caused by a general lack of common sense and reasoning ability. We have reached this diagnosis because some grown ups want to bring something called politics into our classroom. I don’t know what politics are, but my dad says that it messes up everything it touches. Because of politics, I understand that my school gets more money for every one of us little guys that you label. So, to be fair, (Mom says always to be fair), I want an increase in my allowance for every label we find for you.

Please don’t be offended by our diagnoses, I hear the treatment for these adult deficit disorders is available at your local drugstore. A little mind and mood altering medication is supposed to work wonders.

We also have some wonderful news for you. Most big people don’t suffer from a large list of other disorders, including RDD, Rationalization Deficit Disorder, because I see plenty of rationalization going on. By the way, since I am just a little guy and not that smart, isn’t rationalization just another big word for lying to yourself?

Signed,
Just a Little Guy

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